tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9829798759773867122024-03-20T22:05:31.233-07:00Wannabe Writer WaffleNicky Bondhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12947859310367012273noreply@blogger.comBlogger11125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-982979875977386712.post-2176265963545386622013-05-17T14:32:00.000-07:002013-05-17T14:32:27.700-07:00Brace yourselves, MalmöSomething terrible happened today. <br />
<br />
I had risen early, wide-eyed with excitement - what with it being Eurovision Eve and all - and eagerly clicked onto my Eurovision playlist as I wandered about finding clothes and brushing teeth. <br />
<br />
Then it happened.<br />
<br />
It became apparent, after fifteen minutes or so, that rather than a shuffled mix of all my Euro favourites totalling approximately forty songs and including a varied mix of crazy beats and genres, <i>this</i> particular morning there were only FOUR SONGS being played. An endless loop of, quite frankly, the more mediocre of the crop, booming out from my bedroom as I bathed and abluted for the day ahead. I hurried back to find out the exact nature of the problem.<br />
<br />
Then it hit me.<br />
<br />
During a recent phone upgrade, it appears that in my hastiness at getting set up and ready to roll, I didn't allow sufficient time for my iTunes library to transfer to my new phone. As you can imagine, I was beside myself. Shallow breaths, tear-stung eyes and a crushing sense of frustrated disappointment ensued for several minutes.<br />
<br />
It was hell.<br />
<br />
Anyway, then I remembered the cloudy thing in the sky, plugged my phone into my laptop, and the erroneous songs seemed to upload themselves back to where they should be. Crisis averted. Phew.<br />
<br />
However, experiencing such a near-miss propelled me into having a back up plan in case such a trauma should ever happen again. So, with that in mind, and for your listening pleasure, I am pleased to introduce some of my favourite ESC songs ever. If this doesn't get you in the mood for tomorrow night, then there is no humanity.<br />
<br />
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Denmark - 2010<br />
<i>In A Moment Like This</i> sung by Chanee and N'evergreen. Quite simply the best ESC song ever and it didn't even win. They woz robbed!<br />
<br />
<br />
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Lithuania - 2006<br />
<i>We Are The Winners</i> sung by LT United. Lovely, silly, funny yet… like... <i>totally</i> serious. <br />
<br />
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<br />
Ireland - 1992<br />
<i>Why Me</i> sung by Linda Martin<br />
If you haven't sung this into your empty wine bottle on a Friday night home alone, then YOU SIMPLY HAVEN'T LIVED. <br />
<br />
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Malta - 1992<br />
<i>Little Child</i> sung by Mary Spiteri<br />
Not content with just the one key change, this soaring power-ballad balls stuffs them in, and has prompted many a standing ovation in my lounge. (Again, on a Friday night, home alone. It doesn't happen that often. Honest.)<br />
<br />
<br />
Right, I could do this all night, but the magical day is almost here. I shall leave you to giddy yourselves into a tizz, and then get a good night's sleep. For tomorrow, tomorrow we take on THE WORLD.*<br />
<br />
*not strictly true**<br />
<br />
**It is just the qualifying countries that make up part of the European Broadcasting Union. But, still.<br />
<br />Nicky Bondhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12947859310367012273noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-982979875977386712.post-45999258990709584092012-09-14T06:25:00.000-07:002012-09-14T06:33:42.305-07:00Fifty Shades of Jealousy?<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<span lang="EN-US" style="mso-bidi-font-family: Cambria;">Folks,
it’s been a while.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>For a couple of
months, I have been officially enjoying my summer holidays.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Rather than harvesting peaches on a kibbutz, or
trekking around Thailand on a donkey, this Summer’s main activities (for me, anyway
– it seems other people have been all het up with some sporty stuff) have been
based around a family member’s wedding, an extended visit from several
Australian relatives, and more BBQs, family meals and road trips than I have
ever experienced in such a short period of time.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>In addition to this, I have managed to cram
in two of my mates getting hitched, a weekend by a Spanish pool, and the whole of series one
and two of Green Wing.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I have read books
by Grisham, Coben, Jewell and Maupin, re-read an old Jack Reacher and got sucked
into Aaron Sorkin’s latest series on Sky.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US" style="mso-bidi-font-family: Cambria;">But
there’s one thing I have not done during my hiatus from my day-to-day
routine.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US" style="mso-bidi-font-family: Cambria;">I have
not read Fifty Shades of Grey.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US" style="mso-bidi-font-family: Cambria;">Just
saying that out loud in some circles would put me in the same category as a
member of a confessional style support group. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span lang="EN-US" style="mso-bidi-font-family: Cambria;">“My name is Nicky and I have not read the
must-have, so-called Mummy-porn book of the Summer.” <o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US" style="mso-bidi-font-family: Cambria;">I did
try to.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Honest.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Before the horny madness had taken full hold
of the world's females, when the book was only being mentioned online, I ordered it from
Amazon.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>However, due to a lost credit
card and a subsequent cancelled order, the book never made it.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>(I also ordered Heartburn by the late, great <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nora_Ephron">Nora Ephron</a> - a book I’m still yet to read, but one for which I will continue to make the effort.) <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>My lack of 50SOG didn’t bother me then though, because at that point, I had gone off the whole idea.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>There were a couple of reasons for the change of heart.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraph" style="mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -18.0pt;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><span lang="EN-US" style="mso-bidi-font-family: Cambria; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: Cambria; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">1.<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span><span lang="EN-US" style="mso-bidi-font-family: Cambria;">By then, it was all everyone I knew was talking about - friends,
family, twitter-mates and Facebook friends.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>My Grandma was full of it.*<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I decided, just as I did in 1997 with the uber-hype
surrounding Titanic, I was not going to be a sheep to fit in with them all.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>(I still don’t know what happens.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It sinks, I presume.)</span><span lang="EN-US"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraph" style="mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -18.0pt;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><span lang="EN-US" style="mso-bidi-font-family: Cambria; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: Cambria; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">2.<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span><!--[endif]--><span lang="EN-US">I read the first eight pages on
the ‘Look Inside’ facility on Amazon (something I should have done before
initially ordering it) and decided it was not for me.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">It wasn’t the sex that turned me off – it didn't let me get that far.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Rather, it was the lack of detail and
set-up that preceded the initial meeting of the two main characters, and the two main characters themselves, who somehow manage to keep up enough of a rapport to shag their way
through three whole novels.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> The protagonists seemed shallow, so I didn't feel the need to find out the depravities that went on beyond page eight.</span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Which is a pity because as far as I am
concerned, dirty novels are all to the good.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>I just want the key players to be complex and engaging.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">But herein lies the problem.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>How can little old me, little unpublished,
wannabe writer me, even begin to criticize the work of a bone fide author; an author who has
sold more books than anyone in the history of the world ever (probably), an
author whose works I have watched be restocked on their own special stand by
the front door of my local Tesco time and time again.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It is quite simple.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I can’t.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">I cannot and will not slag off E L James for managing to
do what I can only dream of.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>She has
created characters that have struck a chord among the millions of women that
have been unable to tear themselves away from her pages.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>How brilliant to have been able to do that!
As a non-50SOG reader, the image of Christian Grey that I have in my head is a
cross between <a href="http://www.google.co.uk/search?client=safari&rls=en&q=ken+masters+howards+way&oe=UTF-8&redir_esc=&um=1&ie=UTF-8&hl=en&tbm=isch&source=og&sa=N&tab=wi&ei=GiVTUOOFA4HN0QXr0IDoAQ&biw=1208&bih=613&sei=GyVTUIH3MK6N0wW_44DABg">Ken Masters</a> of Howards Way fame and, as Victoria Coren recognised in her <a href="http://www.guardian.co.uk/commentisfree/2012/jul/29/victoria-coren-fifty-shades-of-grey">Observer column</a> last month, Alan Partridge or
football’s own John Motson.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Sexy is not
what spring to my mind, in spite of the first rate sporting trivia he might utter involuntarily
between spanks. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Yet for millions of
women all over the world, it seems as though Mr Grey is the pinnacle of
their frustrated sexual desires.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> He is our generation's Mr Darcy, or Rochester. The literary incarnation of James Spader in the 2002 spank-fest <a href="http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0274812/">Secretary</a>. He is what every woman secretly dreams of - apparently. </span>Pity
the poor husbands and boyfriends who continue to go about their daily routines,
looking forward to the moment they can sink onto the sofa and have a sneaky half-hour on Championship Manager.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Little do
they realise, their other halves are strung up in the bedroom, knickers in
mouth waiting to be penetrated by a personality that simply does not exist
within the man that shares their bed.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">No, fair play to E L James, she has
certainly pulled it off.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>(Back to her
book selling prowess now, not another sex act.)<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But it makes me question whether I would
actually want her success.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Would I be
content to lie back on my gazillions of pounds, raking it in as more and more
women succumbed to the sexual utopia I had harnassed in my rompy read, whilst
having to put up with review after review of negativity about my actual
writing?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Can the financial reward and
overwhelming recognition by the public block out the constant criticisms?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">I spent three years doing a sort of English
degree (it was combined with other stuff, so not the full dosage) where I read
a new worthy, sometimes incomprehensible, often boring text every week.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>At the end of my time, I vowed I would never
pick up a book again.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Luckily for me,
right about then, came Lisa Jewell, Lee Child, Marian Keyes, Armistead Maupin,
Nick Hornby and every other popular, contemporary author whose words I have
devoured in the years since.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It wasn’t
reading that was boring me.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It was the undiluted concentration
of elitist high-brow material that I was forced to plough through, with no
time to recognise that books are there primarily to be enjoyed.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I am sure I would have appreciated the poetry
of John Donne or plays of Christopher Marlowe much more, had I had the time to
soak them up and explore them fully, rather than speed-read them the night
before so I could appear vaguely knowledgeable in the following morning’s
seminar, should a question be fired at me.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>I don’t want to be the type of writer whose only acclaim is
critical and whose work is a chore to read.</span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I want people to enjoy what I
write, and it has to be said that 50SOG has certainly been enjoyed.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> Crime writer </span>Lee Child has stated in <a href="http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/entertainment-arts-14246226">various interviews</a> how snobby the literary world can be, and how he is happy to be considered a
popular writer, even if it means missing out on the professional kudos that
goes along with it. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>If you can only be viewed
in one way, then like Child, I’d rather be popular than critically acclaimed.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">So, back to E L James.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>There’s no doubt about it, she is
popular as far as book sales go - the figures speak for
themselves.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>However, unlike fellow Child fans, of all the people I
know that have read James' books, I have not heard anyone say that they think they
are well-written.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> Not the critics in the papers, but people I actually know. </span>No one has appreciated
the beauty of her language, or the way she has built her characters into
multi-dimensional and complex figures that are lifted from the page.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>No one has said to me, when they hear that I
have not read the books ‘Oh, Nicky, but you MUST!”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>No one.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>They've all made
comments about inadequacies of the prose and then gone on to describe the
hilariously graphic filthy bits.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>As
much money and recognition as these books have generated, I don’t think I would
trade that for the novel-reading, everyday public actually liking my style.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Or I could just be really jealous.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Who knows. And I suppose, if I had to choose between being E L James or Christopher Marlowe, there's no question. Bad reviews pale into insignificance when compared to an untimely dagger in the eye. Don't they?</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US"><br /></span></div>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhw0QrEeAolQDGvbzPTMysfXetylSzSOOYNIM41g4eQaQaGHwjoo00j1rta2U2hU-7wuyf4wHNAjtoCT9wP_ge0hCMvrT_g2-wCjjr20I9NZ962ZiM85T7ZX3N0Xa0lo_dIlyJALgCSUypX/s1600/books.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhw0QrEeAolQDGvbzPTMysfXetylSzSOOYNIM41g4eQaQaGHwjoo00j1rta2U2hU-7wuyf4wHNAjtoCT9wP_ge0hCMvrT_g2-wCjjr20I9NZ962ZiM85T7ZX3N0Xa0lo_dIlyJALgCSUypX/s320/books.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Some books I <i>did</i> read this summer. And very lovely they were too.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">* She wasn’t.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US" style="mso-bidi-font-family: Cambria;">It
appears I am starting to get to the age where some aspects of modern life
irritate me more than is healthy. I wallow in nostalgia with greater
regularity than I used to, and find myself starting sentences with “Yes, but in the olden
days…” I despaired at a recent retro-inspired Father’s Day buffet, where
my youngest sibling not only admitted he had never seen a studded cheese and
pineapple hedgehog before, but then had to ask what to do in order to eat
it. That’s a child of the nineties for you. </span><span lang="EN-US" style="mso-bidi-font-family: Times;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="mso-bidi-font-family: Cambria;">But
one of the very wonderful things about the modern times we live in, is social
media, and in particular, Twitter. To be very brief, Twitter is a
constant update of feelings, opinions, information and wider internet links,
from whomever you feel like following. It brings people together
instantly, and tends to allow the barriers between ‘famous’ and ‘normal’ people
to slip once in a while. </span><span lang="EN-US" style="mso-bidi-font-family: Times;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="mso-bidi-font-family: Cambria;">Luddites
opposed to such types of communication, often decry Twitter as being boring and
irrelevant. Comments along the lines of “I have no interest in knowing
what Simon Pegg is having for his lunch” give the impression that some people
think that this is all Twitter can be. An ongoing, regularly updated
account of the mundane eating habits of people they have never met. But
it is SO MUCH MORE than that. Here are two reasons why.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: 36.0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; mso-pagination: none; tab-stops: 11.0pt 36.0pt; text-autospace: none; text-indent: -36.0pt;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><span lang="EN-US" style="mso-bidi-font-family: Cambria; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: Cambria; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">•<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span><!--[endif]--><span lang="EN-US" style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";"> </span><span lang="EN-US" style="mso-bidi-font-family: Cambria;">Having a limit of 140 characters encourages
succinct comments, and little waffle. People have to be funnier, or
demonstrate greater clarity and ‘cut to the chase’ quicker.
Alternatively, they can post links to sites you would never have found but are
glad you now have.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<!--[if !supportLists]--><span lang="EN-US" style="mso-bidi-font-family: Cambria; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: Cambria; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">•<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span><!--[endif]--><span lang="EN-US" style="mso-bidi-font-family: Cambria;"> </span><span lang="EN-US" style="mso-bidi-font-family: Times;">You
choose who you follow. They don’t have to accept you (unless they’re
using the mostly unnecessary privacy settings) you simply follow them. You
create your own community that is just for you. My own self-created
community keeps me informed of breaking news stories, (@BBCbreaking) the death
of any well-known figure via a fake Princess Diana account, (@DianaInHeaven)
and all comment pieces in a range of daily papers, written by my favourite
writers (@charltonbrooker, @caitlinmoran, @MarinaHyde, @KiraCochrane). <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="mso-bidi-font-family: Cambria;">Occasionally
it becomes apparent, however, that one of the downsides of Twitter is that it
is easy to forget that the information and opinion with which you are regularly
updated, can be a little one-sided. With the vast amount of left-wing
articles and opinions I was reading in the run up to the General Election in
2010, it was obvious to me that the Lib Dems were going to romp home with a
massive overall majority, and free University tuition would no longer be
consigned to the history books. It was something of a shock to find that
my Twitter timeline did not reflect the mood of the nation. Now, I have
no intention of seeking out some BNP Tweeters just to provide balance, but now
and then I just need to remind myself that perhaps I am not seeing the whole
picture.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="mso-bidi-font-family: Cambria;">Yet,
on Wednesday of this week, I really hoped I was being presented with the whole
picture. It seemed Clive James had been speaking on a Radio 4 programme
about his terminal cancer, and had stated that he was ‘<a href="http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/entertainment-arts-18532310"><span style="color: #0023dd;">getting near the end</span></a>’ of his life. My
Twitter timeline of journos, writers, comedians and general media types sprang
into a Clive James love-fest. Famous people tweeted about the wonderful
qualities of the man they knew; writers declared he was the reason they began
their craft; mere mortals posted links to their favourite poems, or essays that
they loved. His name was trending throughout the UK, and if you clicked
on the hashtag, there was even more - a feast of word-meat into which to sink
your teeth. It appeared to be, and I hoped it really was the case, that
the world was grateful for the existence of this man. Not just a
one-sided liberally minded collection of arty-farty people, but the larger
world beyond my like-minded little collection of tweeters.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="mso-bidi-font-family: Cambria;">I
think, however, that Clive James is more than just a brilliant writer,
comedian, poet, scholar and all round good-egg as has been the picture created
by this week’s Twitterverse. He symbolises a bygone age of media
creativity. He was on TV and in the papers before dumbing down began,
before reality TV became engrained, before TOWIE and its ilk became part of the vernacular and before
twenty-four hour, easily accessible, hardcore porn was available to everyone. He was there when wit and intelligence were enough to be featured on prime time TV. New Year with <a href="http://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/b0195p7h"><span style="color: #0023dd;">Jools
Holland</span></a> is great but there was nothing like watching the year’s
round-up when it was presented by Clive James. Belly laughs, satire,
poignancy and Big Ben. (It pisses all over a seemingly bladdered Cyndi
Lauper, who kept me company last New Year’s Eve.)<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="mso-bidi-font-family: Cambria;">I
question sometimes whether Twitter is part of the cause of this plunging common
denominator. Has reducing everything to 140 characters -
occasionally forcing even the linguistically puritanical like myself to write
‘R’ instead of ‘are’ (oh, the shame) – meant that the beauty of language has
been lost? Has word-play and poetry become pointless and time
consuming, creating an unnecessary barrier to the actual point? (Just like
the realisation that it is much less faff to bung a bowl of mini sausages on a
buffet table, than to spear them individually with a cocktail stick, arrange them symmetrically on a grapefruit and then watch people juggle a wine glass and potato-salad
laden flimsy plate in one hand, whilst using their other to prise a stick
of meat out of a citrus fruit.) Has Twitter contributed to the loss of
the intricacies and idiosyncrasies of the written and spoken word because
people can't be arsed? Though at times it may feel as though this is the
case, after clicking on #clivejames yesterday, I was led to link after link of
virtuoso writing – too much to read all at once – but evidence of the treasure
trove that is the body of his work – work that will ultimately outlive
him. Twitter led me to this. Good old Twitter. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US" style="mso-bidi-font-family: Cambria;">Taking
the opportunity to read some of his TV reviews yesterday, (<a href="http://www.telegraph.co.uk/culture/tvandradio/8611142/Clive-James-on...-Glastonbury-and-Wimbledon.html"><span style="color: #0023dd;">like this one</span></a> about Beyonce) it is
easy to forget how far the intellectual bar has been lowered in recent
years. Clive James is a link to an era when it was accepted that the
viewing and reading public had a brain, and that they were willing to use it to
engage with material presented to them. If you want a reminder of that
time, or if you have no concept of what that must have been like due to an
almost force-fed diet of Mail Online and Cowellian gruel then you could do a
lot worse than dip into the great man’s <a href="http://www.clivejames.com/"><span style="color: #0023dd;">website</span></a>. Just don’t be surprised if your
brain kicks in and cogs start to whir. It happened to me yesterday.
Don’t worry, you’ll like it. It’s retro.</span><span lang="EN-US"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<!--EndFragment-->Nicky Bondhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12947859310367012273noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-982979875977386712.post-4542214695308642572012-06-12T11:13:00.001-07:002012-06-12T11:13:18.651-07:00What Euro Crisis?<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<!--StartFragment-->
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">I have no idea why some sporting events
leave me cold, yet others whip me up into a frenzy like a big whisk
and a bowl of defenseless angel delight mix in milk.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It seems I am a muddle of opposing views when
it comes to sporting competitions, with no clear ideology running through to predict
my views. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> The </span>Olympics – NO! Wimbledon –
NO!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But <a href="http://www.uefa.com/uefaeuro/index.html">European Championships</a> – A BIG FAT YES!!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">As I type this I have half an eye on the
telly.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>If I wanted to avoid distractions
and noise, as is normally the case when writing, I would turn the TV off.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It is really important that it remains on
today, though.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It is 6pm on a Tuesday evening, and I am watching a football match between Greece and the Czech
Republic.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I am not Greek, nor
Czech.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I don’t follow those countries’
football leagues in any way, and I am not being forced to view this game at gunpoint.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Why am I doing it then? Why am I typing away
but insisting on keeping a noisy crowd cheering for two unknown teams in the corner
of my living room?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Well, I’ll tell you
why you insistent bastards!</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US"><br /></span></div>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjhmLgpivzvvZneuBms8EqeiUO8jdY6eF45q0HUXgPy6Ficot7algmYY3UoOW35QHM032boOISg0a3oB2XbatL9TTikhZDTWtD1SB6Nuw0Yhyphenhyphen7oUS8mdQOAEjOV_RSX-uOWBAFJLeKfJ6gH/s1600/footy.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="238" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjhmLgpivzvvZneuBms8EqeiUO8jdY6eF45q0HUXgPy6Ficot7algmYY3UoOW35QHM032boOISg0a3oB2XbatL9TTikhZDTWtD1SB6Nuw0Yhyphenhyphen7oUS8mdQOAEjOV_RSX-uOWBAFJLeKfJ6gH/s320/footy.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">I'm watching it RIGHT NOW!</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">It’s because it’s football time!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It’s the SUMMER OF FOOTBALL!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It’s all kicking off everywhere and there are
Wall Charts and sweeps and ball related excitements everywhere I look!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It may be grey and gloomy outside - the
promise of rain has been hovering about all day - yet when the footy is on, it
is THE HEIGHT OF SUMMER!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Everything
feels different, and new rules apply.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span lang="EN-US">Rule
1</span></b><span lang="EN-US"> -<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Mid-week
drinking is not only acceptable but actively encouraged.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>To abstain from beer during any England match
is not only rude but downright unpatriotic.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span lang="EN-US">Rule
2 – </span></b><span lang="EN-US">Paying the bills on time, buying the children
the new school shoes that they need and remembering to drop off ageing
relatives at doctors’ appointments all come a clear second to the
responsibility of keeping <a href="http://www.amazon.co.uk/Sports-European-Football-Championship-91-5x61cm/dp/B007916CPA">Wall Charts</a> up-to-date.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span lang="EN-US">Rule
3</span></b><span lang="EN-US"> –<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>At some
point over the footballing month, and preferably to coincide with an England
match, it is ESSENTIAL that you have a BBQ.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>(Especially if you live in a flat.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>It means more.)<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">For the rest of the year, I really don’t
give a shit.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Competitions like the FA
Cup, Premier League and Champions League pass me by, with me having no clue as
to who is playing for what, where, when and why.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I
grew up in an Evertonian household.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>To
assert my independence, at the age of six I chose to support Liverpool.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Having no means in which to do this, however,
it became little more than a family-based political stance.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I was never taken to Anfield or encouraged in
my team choice and so my interest dwindled to the state it remains today.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I can tell you that Liverpool play in red,
but that’s about it. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">My footy-indifference dramatically fades
into the background of my life, on the other hand, when it comes to
England.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span>Perhaps it is my specific age that makes me
love international, summer-held football competitions. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I remember Italia ’90 most clearly.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I was twelve (and yes I know that competition
belongs to the World Cup and not the Euros, but they all have the same effect)
and that particular summer was a belter with my memories all now merging into one –
the heat/the patio door open all day and night/the start of my periods/excellent
performances by England.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>(Not all
football related, but memorable nonetheless.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>I can’t hear <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vqzz7B7V2IE">Nessun Dorma</a> without getting a stomach twinge.)<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Skip forward to the next competition of note,
and it was Euro 96.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>This was the start
of my adult life.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I had just finished my
A Levels, it was another boiling summer, my love of beer gardens began and
there was lots of lovely England success on the pitch.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The Times columnist, <a href="https://twitter.com/#!/caitlinmoran">Caitlin Moran</a>, tweeted
earlier this week that,</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>“This tournament will always be
called Euro 96 to me </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US"> * <span style="mso-bidi-font-weight: bold;">Britpop face</span>
* <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">And yesterday in the pub, a friend of mine said
exactly the same thing.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Euro 96 was, for
my generation perhaps, the best we have ever seen England play.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>As a result, lots of thirty-somethings get
inordinately excited about the start of this competition, and fantasise about
the route to the final that England will undoubtedly tread.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It must be slightly dispiriting then, for the
youth of today.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Not the really young
like toddlers and children – they’ve got enough to worry about what the older
generation wrecking the planet, ruining the economy, and creating Desperate
Scousewives.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>No, I mean the
twenty-somethings and teenagers.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Those
that are too young to remember the glory days of England’s international
dominance; the days that it felt like we were a serious threat to any
competition in which we played.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>For
those youngsters, the next month might not be as exciting as it could be.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> The <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Steve_McClaren">McClaren</a>/<a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fabio_Capello">Capello</a> factor might make them assume we have no chance. </span>They might not be eagerly completing their
wall chart twice a day, buying England flags to stick on their wing mirrors, or
being creative with reasons for calling in sick on an England match day.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>They might not care about this competition at
all, and that would be a tragedy.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>For
the rest of us, it’s a month of BBQ burgers, beery bonhomie and hopefully some
nail biting, edge of the seat football action.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>I can’t bloody wait.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi78Spgw0wY0IsIuMHltJJjNf92WldFHpJ2_yQvk1wOW_Rhj4qgyr2FJQ0A5j8RTYhQam9TJvQhGSRgwRVcrYr9_pWtj3ZAjjuxF6UvO0Kg0B4oOxMSlpXHHqUJW2dCosDMJOxnGCn68YuK/s1600/photo-14.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi78Spgw0wY0IsIuMHltJJjNf92WldFHpJ2_yQvk1wOW_Rhj4qgyr2FJQ0A5j8RTYhQam9TJvQhGSRgwRVcrYr9_pWtj3ZAjjuxF6UvO0Kg0B4oOxMSlpXHHqUJW2dCosDMJOxnGCn68YuK/s320/photo-14.jpg" width="239" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Stevo's sweep, adding untold excitement to all the fun.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US"><br /></span></div>
<!--EndFragment-->Nicky Bondhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12947859310367012273noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-982979875977386712.post-32648400990460496912012-05-30T12:56:00.000-07:002012-05-31T09:19:29.690-07:00Much Ado About Something<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">Well after all the excitement of my blog
from 3rd May (Learning Me Your (Hebrew) Language) I finally got to see The Merchant of Venice on Monday night as part
of The Globe’s international <a href="http://globetoglobe.shakespearesglobe.com/">Globe to Globe</a> season. Every <a href="http://www.guardian.co.uk/stage/2012/may/29/merchant-of-venice-review?newsfeed=true">review</a> (and <a href="http://www.independent.co.uk/arts-entertainment/theatre-dance/reviews/the-dramas-outside-protests-target-israeli-take-on-shakespeare-7799885.html">this one</a>) I have read since has focused largely on the demonstrations and disruptions that some
members of the audience created. Oh,
yeah, did I not mention that the evening turned out to be a hotbed of political
activism before my very eyes? The nature
of the specifics of the protests can be found <a href="http://www.theweek.co.uk/theatre/47162/palestinian-activists-protest-israeli-shakespeare-production">here</a>, but in spite of all the
police, security guards and airport style detectors, over the course of the
evening several realisations became very clear to me.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpFirst" style="mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -18.0pt;">
<span lang="EN-US">1.<span style="font: normal normal normal 7pt/normal 'Times New Roman';"> <span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">
</span></span></span><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span lang="EN-US"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">You can never see the same
play too many times.</span></span></i></b><span lang="EN-US"> </span></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpFirst" style="mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -18.0pt;">
<span lang="EN-US"> This particular production depicted Shylock
in the most humane way I have ever seen, ultimately giving me a completely
different feeling about the rest of the characters, and therefore questioning
the validity of their happy endings. This was an unexpected pleasure. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpFirst" style="mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -18.0pt;">
<span lang="EN-US"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -18.0pt;">
<span lang="EN-US">2.<span style="font: normal normal normal 7pt/normal 'Times New Roman';">
</span></span><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span lang="EN-US"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">Peaceful protests can be
really rather lovely</span></span></i></b><span lang="EN-US"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">.</span> </span></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -18.0pt;">
<span lang="EN-US"> People on opposing sides of the debate, held
placards in separated areas on Bankside in the afternoon sun, smilingly handing
out leaflets and playing music, demonstrating the importance of standing up for
beliefs and sharing opinions with respect.
It was powerful.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -18.0pt;">
<span lang="EN-US"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -18.0pt;">
<span lang="EN-US">3.<span style="font: normal normal normal 7pt/normal 'Times New Roman';">
</span></span><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span lang="EN-US"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">Protests lose their impact
when art is disrupted</span></span></i></b><span lang="EN-US"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">.</span> </span></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -18.0pt;">
<span lang="EN-US"> Once inside the theatre, the outbursts and
banner-unfurling became sinister. Censorship is always worrying, and the
organised disruptions at regular intervals of the performance only seemed to
alienate the protesters and their valid cause from the rest of the
audience. It suddenly felt very
important that the play continue as was summed up to loud cheers by one
audience member, as he shouted “Carry on, we’re all with you!” <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -18.0pt;">
<span lang="EN-US"><br /></span></div>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjkASZ4trhKuaUPAnpynTACBtDnt4JgOuySJA9CuFZHA6VaUuOTKVKM0Z4m2hlXAHG2ctZ2DImajfw_jiRmgnUke7D9y7fthKW7Q654PPWaXmQoAblsDk_WBdeqTMZOEO7FtENRQVlvH-07/s1600/globe.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="238" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjkASZ4trhKuaUPAnpynTACBtDnt4JgOuySJA9CuFZHA6VaUuOTKVKM0Z4m2hlXAHG2ctZ2DImajfw_jiRmgnUke7D9y7fthKW7Q654PPWaXmQoAblsDk_WBdeqTMZOEO7FtENRQVlvH-07/s320/globe.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">My view</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -18.0pt;">
<span lang="EN-US"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -18.0pt;">
<span lang="EN-US"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -18.0pt;">
<span lang="EN-US"> The play did carry on, and the professionalism of the actors was rewarded by an extended curtain call, with many of the audience getting to their feet. I felt they deserved it for their interpretation of a complex play not just for the challenges that particular performance had faced.</span></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">And as for the initial concerns that I had
aired in my previous blog - those relating to understanding an evening of
Hebrew Shakespeare? Well, they were
completely unfounded. Even if I hadn’t
been able to see the English summarised subtitles at the end of each scene, I
knew exactly what was going on. This was
mostly, I suspect, due to knowing the plot well, but also the visually rich
interpretation that included dancing caskets, well-timed slapstick, and the
most wonderfully symbolic costume for Portia that recognised the binding
legalities to which she was subject, but then cunningly changed into the chains
that held the arrested Antonio, and ultimately Shylock, in the dramatic court scene. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">A final highlight for me was that The
Globe’s Artistic Director, <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dominic_Dromgoole">Dominic Dromgoole</a> poked his head into the middle
gallery at the interval to check we were all OK (several of the protesters had
been seated in the row in front of us.)
I did wonder for a second whether it would be a good opportunity to
pitch my novel/script/personality at him; this could have been the only
time I got the chance. In the
event, he seemed a little flustered what with all the threats and metal detectors and stuff, so I let him get on. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">Shame.
He seemed like a nice man. <o:p></o:p></span></div>Nicky Bondhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12947859310367012273noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-982979875977386712.post-44526788396283705272012-05-24T10:33:00.000-07:002012-05-24T10:41:54.021-07:00It's All About The Key Change<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">The time has come, it can be held off no
longer. It is time to discuss
Eurovision. Oh yes.</span><br />
<span lang="EN-US"><br /></span><br />
<span lang="EN-US">For those of you not completely up to speed,
the first semi-final was on 22<sup>nd</sup> May, the second semi-final is tonight and the final is still to come on Saturday 26<sup>th</sup> May. There are plenty of marvellous
preview-style blogs and commentaries (notably <a href="http://www.willhowells.org.uk/blog/2012/05/15/eurovision-2012-final-prequalifiers/">No Geek Is An Island</a> and <a href="http://hikarublue.wordpress.com/2012/05/24/preparation-for-eurovision-2012/">Hikaru Blue</a>, or on Twitter you could follow <a href="https://twitter.com/#!/Walter_1oo">@Walter_1oo</a>) but
I imagine that this late in the day, you will have digested these at
length. No, what? You mean you haven’t been following <a href="https://twitter.com/#!/Eurovision">@Eurovision</a> and receiving daily tweets updating you on how the rehearsals
have been going for the past few weeks?
What are you? Inhuman freaks?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">I am fully aware, however - all joking aside - that
not everyone feels as joyously giddy as I do at this time of year. There is just something about the weeks
leading up to the contest that puts a spring in my step and makes me feel smiley. It has always been this way, even when I was
a kid – it was a night to keep free, a night when I had plans. My other commitments (Brownies on Mondays and
ballet on Thursdays) would pale into boring insignificance and make this
annual springtime Saturday night of international glamour the absolute
pinnacle of my little year. Whilst it
may have meant more to me than to others, I defy anybody alive in 1981 to convince
me they did not spend the weeks following that year’s contest whipping off a
tea towel that had been tucked into their knickers and pretending to be <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FVvz7NA28CM">Cheryl Baker</a>. We all did it. Every last one of us. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br />
Since then I have watched each contest in earnest, using either home made notebooks to record comments and score each entrant, or in later years, taking advantage of the <a href="http://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/b0070hvg/features/party">score card</a> provided helpfully by the BBC. These days of course, I like to think I have no need to rely on the continent's plethora of shimmying sequinned bodies in order to feel a sense of occasion. I like to think my grown-up life is a little more sparkly and cosmopolitan than when I was a youth. Now that I’ve knocked Brownies on the head, for example, I
have much more time for flicking out my hair with straighteners, and applying
sparkly eye-liner.
No, the appeal of the ESC is no longer the glamour. It is the comedy.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">People who think I take Eurovision very
seriously, have missed the point. I take
the celebration of it, and the need for a <a href="http://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/b0070hvg/features/party">party</a> during it, very seriously
indeed. But the hilarity and at times
down-right unhinged nature of the contest are in no way lost on me. A yearly event that in my own life time has
included musical theatre’s own Michael Ball and Andrew Lloyd Webber alongside
the horror film inspired, masked Finnish death-metal group, Lordi and in more recent
times, the irrepressible Jedward, can only be, in my opinion, A BRILLIANT
THING. It is funny, irreverent and as a
good a reason to get together as any other.
I know it is silly but that’s the appeal. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgVTjov6GuaAjztvkgIaQko-aYGDaHiZp2f2NjO4DVPlGCNx1pKpdsvnbc7Z-aXkDF0ns_oPdk1kQJemKojW1fqq-iOnsxo39tZ2UdmoxomzlHjYPMbnTjQ3L1W1CfFZJyWYpHAcNKzrzTL/s1600/Linda+Martin.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgVTjov6GuaAjztvkgIaQko-aYGDaHiZp2f2NjO4DVPlGCNx1pKpdsvnbc7Z-aXkDF0ns_oPdk1kQJemKojW1fqq-iOnsxo39tZ2UdmoxomzlHjYPMbnTjQ3L1W1CfFZJyWYpHAcNKzrzTL/s320/Linda+Martin.jpg" width="237" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Linda Martin - winner of my favourite ESC - 1992.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US"><o:p><br /></o:p></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US"><o:p><br /></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">A few days ago I was laughed at (with some
scorn and disdain I might add) by some people that are very distantly related
to me. They thought it was ridiculous
that I was having a party on Saturday for the sole reason of celebrating
Eurovision. I later seethed inwardly,
minding my manners and being far too respectful, as I listened to them outline
their street party plans for the Jubilee.
Taking away any particular monarchy-related feelings for a moment, I have
to ask WHAT IS THE DIFFERENCE? Both
events invoke a sense of national pride and present England on the world stage
for all to see. The beauty of Eurovision
is that is provides an <i>annual</i> reason to have a party and is far more comedic. Waiting sixty years to celebrate somebody
having done their job for a long time seems more restricted and a little joyless. Have all the Jubilee parties you want, but
don’t imagine for a second you are less ridiculous (not my word!) than thousands of Eurovision revellers the week earlier. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US"><br /></span></div>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiefNzOyWvGQMeRSs3nMg8ALfEvYBLqC-_V_Watt7mnSGI8z-qdbzlPxvzkYIh1ilp3fgauVWCaSIU_On4v1o479HSYYK8xRNQYnwrGGCeyxADnJ6eBUQPEkIcGk4bm18Jg-_cWo4jwOQ8W/s1600/photo-9.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiefNzOyWvGQMeRSs3nMg8ALfEvYBLqC-_V_Watt7mnSGI8z-qdbzlPxvzkYIh1ilp3fgauVWCaSIU_On4v1o479HSYYK8xRNQYnwrGGCeyxADnJ6eBUQPEkIcGk4bm18Jg-_cWo4jwOQ8W/s320/photo-9.jpg" width="238" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Last year's party lounge</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Aside from the comedy, the other beauty of the ESC amidst all of the random craziness on offer, is that there is sometimes a hidden gem of a song, glinting out from behind all the tack. In 2010 <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zcwr9s1Wce4">Tom Dice's </a> Belgian entry was simple and beautiful. (It now holds pride of place in several of my playlists, not just my Eurovision one) and no road trip is complete without belting out Chanee’s <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NCmahBB4GxI">In A Moment Like This</a> from the same year – Denmark were robbed, no doubt about it. (A perfect example of a Eurovision key change, I tell you. PERFECT!) As for this year, the Hump, as he appears to have been rebranded, has been strategically chosen due to his Eastern European popularity, and at the time of writing, the bookies seem to be acknowledging that in their odds. However, as our 2003 nil points/Iraqi invasion debacle shows us, it is all down to politics. Will we win on Saturday? No, probably not. Is that the point? NO! It is an excuse to get friends and family together, drink too much, eat too much and have a laugh. And if we are very lucky, the winning song will include a technically brillant costume change that children around the globe can recreate for weeks to come. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">It will out-glam Brownies into a cocked
hat, and no mistake.<o:p></o:p></span></div>Nicky Bondhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12947859310367012273noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-982979875977386712.post-14817216898368042972012-05-18T11:50:00.000-07:002012-05-18T11:50:11.352-07:00Such Stuff As Dreams Are Made On<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<br />
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<span lang="EN-US">All this wannabe writer malarkey is really
quite funny.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Almost three years ago, I
had the sudden inspiration for the plot of the book I am now writing.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Like all best ideas, it came whilst I was
drunk.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I thought about it, planned it
out, and then had to wait for another two years (after leaving that pesky
time-consuming career) before I could actually start to create the ideas I had
been brewing all that time.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Nine months
on, and I have completed a decent chunk of a first draft, but it is a slow,
steady slog.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>An enjoyable slog, but a
slog nonetheless.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>There are days when I
have no idea what is going to happen next – I sit in front of my laptop
perfecting my <span class="Apple-style-span" style="background-color: white;"><span style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial;"><a href="http://www.thepcmanwebsite.com/media/pacman_flash/">Pacman</a></span>
</span>score so as to feel some sense of achievement by tea-time.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But then there are days when the smoke is
metaphorically billowing out of the keypad with the ferocity of my typing, and
the ideas are flying around so quickly, I have to make bullet points just to
harness most of them for later.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>All in
all, however, it is a very solitary pastime.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>This works well for me, as a silent house is still something that feels
unique.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Growing up in what can only be
described as the craziest house in all of Christendom, I would escape to my bedroom
and to my books, only to have the peace shattered by a crying baby, a
carpet-wetting emergency or a fisticuffs brawl between whichever siblings had
sneaked additives that day.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Silence was
my preferred state then, and it still is now, even though it is far easier to
achieve in my current life.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span lang="EN-US">And yet, for the other writing project I’m
working on at the moment, silence is not so good.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>No, you see, I have a writing partner!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>This may not seem too unusual to some, but it
is unbelievably out of character for me. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I have always preferred to work alone.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>At job interviews, I would spout the usual
guff about being a team player, but I never really was.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I liked to have control of my particular area
of stuff and just be able to get on with it.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>When we had to work as a team on school or college projects, I would
feel either hampered by the weaknesses I perceived in others, or massively
intimidated by cleverer people.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Either
way, I just wanted to be left to my own devices to get on with whatever
collaborative activity had been assigned.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span lang="EN-US">But now here I am, in a proper grown up
collaboration!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>After a Christmas night
in the pub last year (and once again, alcohol played its necessary role) it
dawned on my friend, Lisa McMullin and I that we should write something together.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>This realisation followed hot on the heels of
an overheard conversation from the adjacent table of men that disappointingly (yet oh so predictably) stated that ‘women
aren’t funny’.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The immediate response
from us, after the sharp intake of breath (and after having a Scrubs fantasy
moment where we stamp on their heads in such an amusing way they can't hold back their mirth) was to list all the women we found hilarious, both past
and present, ultimately culminating in a spontaneous re-enactment of an obscure Victoria
Wood scene from a late 80's</span> <a href="http://www.bbcshop.com/comedy/victoria-wood-presents-dvd/invt/cctv30608/">playlet thingy</a> that most people have never heard of, but that me and
Lisa knew word for word.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It was then
that we decided to do some writing.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"><br /></span></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">It is still early days yet, but so far it has been immeasurable fun. Best of all though, the regular trips to London to meet up and create a work of beauty have resulted in me buying a writer's bag! Look, it makes me appear arty and intellectual. (You need to nod at this, even if I can't see you. Humour me.)</span></span></div>
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<br /></div>
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi7LjHfnaUNMgo9upOhUqJOXw0umvI1V6iczh36mDrSKqFlkWeDOsBvH5asE-gmT7YOIEfwbt4W5tAHP0AomUpxhBPs7Q1gnvuFuF_IVsMhFQi3KxDan9FeFfDvc6Pr6o65JOrq6NzxnfOT/s1600/22a40f369f9911e1a9f71231382044a1_6.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi7LjHfnaUNMgo9upOhUqJOXw0umvI1V6iczh36mDrSKqFlkWeDOsBvH5asE-gmT7YOIEfwbt4W5tAHP0AomUpxhBPs7Q1gnvuFuF_IVsMhFQi3KxDan9FeFfDvc6Pr6o65JOrq6NzxnfOT/s200/22a40f369f9911e1a9f71231382044a1_6.jpg" width="200" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Look at it's beauty!</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br /><div>
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<span lang="EN-US">I also feel I deserve your rousing claps for having
worked out how to put photos into the blog.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Go ahead and clap away!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>You could
even cheer if the mood takes you!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I am
so panicked that I am going to get sued for using a picture whose copyright
info I have misunderstood, that I am only going to use photos I have taken
myself.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>This means there will be an abundance
of headshots of me with a variety of hairstyles, and several pictures of objects around my
house.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Look, not only have I given you
‘bag’, but, brace yourselves, here is ‘bedside table mess’.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"><br /></span></span></div>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjGxQzSV-ScxQrDcQICqwXrigphya4GUW6U9Ay64KVDuQ2wsMQzagzyy9RtjC3xbxzgkPLs1KNkfPnmouoZz9AHWdxtfk3Wc0CqGDrK7DbeWsN274cvB57whHQycpUrVbtGQkhTz-rK766c/s1600/bedside+table.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjGxQzSV-ScxQrDcQICqwXrigphya4GUW6U9Ay64KVDuQ2wsMQzagzyy9RtjC3xbxzgkPLs1KNkfPnmouoZz9AHWdxtfk3Wc0CqGDrK7DbeWsN274cvB57whHQycpUrVbtGQkhTz-rK766c/s200/bedside+table.jpg" width="149" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Stare at it's might!</td></tr>
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<!--StartFragment-->
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">I am spoiling you!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Enjoy.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<!--EndFragment--><div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"><br /></span></span></div>
<!--EndFragment--><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Cambria; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-bidi; mso-fareast-font-family: "MS 明朝"; mso-fareast-language: EN-US; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><br /></span></div>Nicky Bondhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12947859310367012273noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-982979875977386712.post-48269722315897102982012-05-11T04:09:00.000-07:002012-05-14T13:20:23.592-07:00We Need To Talk About Feminism<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">In my hastily cobbled together bio (see
right) with more clauses than Santa’s family tree, I noted that I am a
feminist. More of that another time, but
for now I will just say, that I know lots of women. Not one of them would accept being barred
from schools or Universities where men with equal or less intelligence
attend; not one of them would rest if there were laws that meant their
opinions, knowledge or expertise were disregarded due to their gender; and not
one of them would accept that the only route to a better job would be to sleep
with the boss. However, out of all these women, many would argue that they are not feminists. Anyhoo...<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">Here’s what was on my mind recently.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">I have spent the last couple of months
watching <a href="http://www.itv.com/scottandbailey">Scott and Bailey</a>. If you missed
it, it was a police drama on ITV, starring Suranne Jones, Lesley Sharpe and
Amelia Bullmore. I thought it was
brill. There were bucket loads of things
I liked, but amongst all of them, it just felt real – real characters, real
situations and real storylines. Despite
the necessity of the makers to provide drama and suspense in order to entice
viewers, there was a sense of natural dialogue lying amongst the grotesque murders
and passionate affairs. Whilst I have
zero understanding of what a Serious Crime Squad syndicate might actually be
like, it<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"> felt</i> authentic. I love mysteries and cop shows with the best
of them, (<a href="http://agathachristie.wikia.com/wiki/Dolly_Bantry">Dolly Bantry</a> is a LEGEND) but when Scott and Bailey is lodged firmly
amongst what I imagine to be similarly realistic contemporary police shows such
as Lewis or even New Tricks, the show’s script (particularly the exchanges
between Janet Scott, Rachel Bailey and Gill
Murray) is incredibly well-written. It mirrors exactly the kinds of conversations
I have had in my own place of work with my own colleagues and my own friends. My
opinion, but there you go. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">It was after reading a article in the
<a href="http://www.guardian.co.uk/tv-and-radio/tvandradioblog/2012/apr/02/tv-detectives-scott-and-bailey">Guardian</a> that I started to have an inkling about why I might have been subconsciously
drawn to this aspect of the show. Put
simply, it passes the <a href="http://bechdeltest.com/">Bechdel Test</a>. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">If you are, like I was until very recently,
a stranger to this test, it is really straightforward. It applies a three point criteria to a film
(or TV show in this case) to assess the prominence it gives its female
characters.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpFirst" style="mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -18.0pt;">
<span lang="EN-US">1.<span style="font: normal normal normal 7pt/normal 'Times New Roman';">
</span></span><span lang="EN-US">Does the film/show have more than two
named female characters?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -18.0pt;">
<span lang="EN-US">2.<span style="font: normal normal normal 7pt/normal 'Times New Roman';">
</span></span><span lang="EN-US">Do they talk to each other?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpLast" style="mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -18.0pt;">
<span lang="EN-US">3.<span style="font: normal normal normal 7pt/normal 'Times New Roman';">
</span></span><span lang="EN-US">Do they talk to each other
about something other than men?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">When I first read that, I laughed, and
dismissed it as being a non- issue. But
then I thought about it. Lots of films
meet one of the points. Some might meet
two. But of all my favourite films, the
ones that I think, make me the person I am and inspire me in life, NOT ONE
passes all three criteria. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">At this realisation, I tried, once more, to
pretend it didn’t matter. They are still
great films, I reasoned. They can still
give pleasure with every viewing. They can continue to illuminate and
enlarge upon life’s meaning, and the daily journey we trudge together. Can they?
Does it actually matter if the
characters are mainly men, or separate individual females that never meet,
or females that meet and whose sole topic of conversation is men? Does it actually matter?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">The thing is, in my actual life, my real
life. I know lots of women. Whether these women are my friends, my
family, my neighbours or ladies that jiggle about next to me at Zumba every
week, these are people I have regular conversations with. In the last week, I have talked to a wide
variety of these women about a wide variety of topics. Off the top of my head these have included
politics, education, travel, fertility, pregnancy, cars, vibrators, reality TV,
University, house prices, periods and food.
There have also been conversations where we have talked about
relationships, weddings, sex and impotence.
But (and my mother would be relieved to hear this) the sex and men talk
has been but a small fraction compared to all of the other equally fascinating
things that have come out of my mouth, and the women I knows’ mouths in the
past seven days. And that is where not
passing the Bechdel test feels like a terrible problem. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">It is completely unrealistic. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">Yes, I know that films are often plot
driven, and the plot needs to be told within a specific timeframe. So rather than hear two female protagonists
(if the film even has two female protagonists) discussing who they voted for in
the local elections, before one of them gets back on Rom-Com message and kisses
a boy in a station as the credits roll, they instead cut out all the ‘realism’
and just do the traditional boy meets girl stuff. I also appreciate that there are always
going to be films that contain more men, or films that are going to feature more
women, that only talk about men. (The
achingly funny <a href="http://bechdeltest.com/view/2123/bridesmaids/">Bridesmaids</a>, causes heated discussions on the Bechdel website,
as to whether the women are only discussing men because by default, men are
intrinsically linked to straight marriage, so are therefore ethereally present
in bridesmaid dress discussions whether they like it or not). No, the thing that makes me feel dispirited
to my core is how so few films exist that meet all three criteria. There should just be more. It’s as simple as that.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">A few days after becoming aware of the
Bechdel test, I watched <a href="http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1189340/">The Lincoln Lawyer</a>.
I’d seen it last year on a plane, enjoyed it and so watched it again. (It is a thriller with a lawyer and a baddie,
and a bit of suspense, made in 2011 and set in present day America.) Very soon I became aware of its Bechdel
limitations. Despite there being a
variety of of female prostitutes, background cops or secretaries, in terms of
named female characters, there were seven.
(There were twenty-nine named characters in all.) However, there wasn’t one scene that showed any
of these women talking together. One final cause for contemplation was that
amongst the actresses, Marisa Tomei played a prominent role. She got second billing on <a href="http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1189340/">IMDB</a> and played the
ex-wife of the male protagonist. Despite
her character being a brilliant prosecutor, and having a complicated
relationship with the father of her child, she was shown in minimal scenes; either watching her male ex-partner work from the back of the court, or waking
up in bed with the same ex, and showing a bit of shoulder flesh. An accomplished actress woefully underused. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US"> Yet
despite this gnawing unease, I enjoyed the film. It was just like lots of other films I have
seen and enjoyed. It is just clear to me now, however, that these films are men’s
stories, written by men, acted by men, and about men, with women on the
sidelines supporting the action by being off screen most of the time. As long as I recognise that, it's OK.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">Anyway, back to Scott and Bailey and the
reason I dragged my little soapbox here, stepped on it and started waving my
arms about like a mad woman. Scott and
Bailey doesn’t do that. It doesn’t have
women on the sidelines. It doesn’t have
women standing at the back of the room looking on as the men lead the
narrative. I guess it has men on the
sidelines, although in the main cast, there are lots of them. (The male characters are named, they talk to
each other, and not just about women.)
But they <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">are</i> on the
sidelines. And that might not have
occurred to anyone that it is a problem, because, you see, it isn’t. It is a small feminist drop in a male-centered ocean. If the vast majority of telly
was this way, men might feel a bit pushed out, and be moved to write a blog post about it, but the fact remains, that the vast
majority of telly is <i>not </i>this way. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">Some shows are predominantly about
men. Some are predominantly about
women. Often the shows that are
predominantly about women tend to actually be women talking predominantly about
men. (Have I used predominantly too much
yet?) However, every so often, I want to
watch drama that recognises that women are the main characters in their own
lives and that the stories of those lives are not actually always to do with
the men. Not all the time, and not in
isolation. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">Sometimes they are about the
local elections and vibrators. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">Or cheese.<o:p></o:p></span></div>Nicky Bondhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12947859310367012273noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-982979875977386712.post-82618137887036695742012-05-03T04:06:00.000-07:002012-05-03T04:06:59.212-07:00Learning Me Your (Hebrew) Language<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<!--StartFragment-->
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">*WARNING*<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">The sentence immediately following this warning is going to make me sound wanky and pretentious.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Please ignore the inner voice that shouts
‘bellend’ loudly at the screen, and in the words of the awesome beefcake that is George Michael,
listen without prejudice. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">In a few weeks I am going to The Globe
theatre on the banks of the Thames to watch a performance of The Merchant of
Venice… in Hebrew.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">Yup,<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>so…anyway<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>*<span style="mso-bidi-font-weight: bold;">foot shuffle, look downwards</span>*…still
there?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Oh, goodo.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Let’s carry on then.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">‘Do you speak Hebrew?’ I hear you ask.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">‘No,’ I reply.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">‘Are you going with Hebrew-speaking friends
that will explain what is happening as it goes along?’ you query, with puzzlement.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">‘No, I’m going on my own’, I respond
proudly.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">“Are you even Jewish?’ you say, grasping at
straws.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">‘NOT EVEN A TINY BIT’ I shout back,
good-naturedly.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">This lively and informative Q & A could
go on for hours, but I’m away at the weekend and I’ve got packing to do.
Instead I’ll just explain why.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">Well, to put it simply, why not?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">When the email arrived a few months ago,
about Shakespeare’s Globe Theatre's 2012 season, Globe To Globe<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>– every Shakespeare play performed in a
different language over several months – I was intrigued immediately.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The email (just a basic mailing list send-out;
sadly, they didn’t actually invite me personally) directed me to the <a href="http://globetoglobe.shakespearesglobe.com/">website</a> and to, what I like to call, the One Armed Bandit of Cultural Fabbyness.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Put simply, you choose the language that you
prefer from the central dial, and then watch as the play and performance date
cha-ching into action, lining up along side like a pub slot machine with
Shakespeare goodness rather than the usual cherries and jaffa cakes.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>(I have never actually played a pub fruit
machine.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>There <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">are</i> jaffa cakes aren’t there? <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>*<span style="mso-bidi-font-weight: bold;">Confused
look</span>*)<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">Anyway, I held my breath, carefully
selecting the language in which I am most proficient – German.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>My GCSE (grade C, thank you) has stood me in
good stead for many an important interaction over the years<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>(Ich tanze gern…mein mutter ist ein kleiderschrank…)
so I was confident that I would handle a well-acted dramatisation if played out
before me.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Imagine my horror when the
rolling slots settled, aligning <b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">German </b>with<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"> … Timon of Athens!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></b></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">Now, Timon of Athens may be Super-Shakey’s
finest work to grace the stage, but I have never read it, seen a
performance of it, nor watched a Kenneth Branagh DVD version on a Sunday
afternoon with tea, toast and a blanket. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>To put it bluntly, as a Timon of Athens
virgin, to be deflowered in a language whose key phrases, I am only now beginning to realise, I have but a smattering, would be too intense an experience for
little old me.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">‘But what of the Globe-to-Globe season? ‘ I
fretted internally.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It would all be
going on without me and I would experience overwhelming pangs of FOMO (Fear Of
Missing Out) that, as we all know, can be truly debilitating,<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">So, I collected myself and returned to the
Globe’s website.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Being very clever, and
thinking outside the box, I considered the problem the other way around.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Which play did I know best?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Which performance would I follow regardless
of language?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Which was the play I would
be able to offer a running interpretation alongside, such was the level of my
understanding?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And then it became
clear.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">The Merchant of Venice.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">The Merch was my very first experience of
Shakespeare, and like all dry-mouthed, nervous fumblings that hint at orgasm
without delivering, you never forget your first time.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Year Ten, 1993 (one year into the progressive
name-change for what retro fans might still call Fourth Year seniors) I
encountered Antonio, Shylock and Portia in my GCSE English class.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Brace yourself for a cliché but it was as if
a whole new world had opened up, waving me inside with the promises of
exhaustive word-play and enjoyable confusion.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>The Merch was fab.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I devoured it,
read around it, learnt chunks of it and realised that life would never be the
same again.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>That same year, Mr. Branagh
entered stage right with his cinematic Much Ado About Nothing, so my Shakey
love-affair continued.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">So, back to the one-armed bandit of English
literature - after choosing The Merchant of Venice and twirling the dials, it
appeared that the language selected for this is Hebrew. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Optimistically, I am supposing that there will
be some words that are the same (character names for example) and the fact that
the play will be acted on stage, should jolly everything along, making the plot
more apparent than if it were just being spoken, say, on the radio. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">The final encouraging thought popped up
before I clicked ‘book now’ was that as a youngster on a school trip to Germany
in 1990, we were made to go to mass, what with it being a Catholic school, and
it being a Sunday, and us having to do as we were told.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>So I sat through an hour of German
churchyness, where it transpired that my newly-perfected enquiries about the location of the nearest station,
or being able to tell everyone loudly and proudly that I was twelve, were rather inadequate to my
literal understanding of the words used.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>But here’s the thing.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I knew
exactly what was going on, because of almost weekly mass attendances every
Sunday of my little life up to that point.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I
knew what was happening without the individual words being understood.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>This was the deciding argument in the tiny mental
wrangle I had before booking tickets.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">Only after receiving the confirmation
email, did I recognise the fact that I have not actually attended a weekly
Merchant performance every Sunday at 10am for the whole of my childhood.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>This is a shame because firstly, how wonderful would
that have been (just think of it!) and secondly,</span> I may still find myself
confused when it comes to the performance at the end of the month.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>However, just as it was when I was in Year
Ten, I am sure it will be an enjoyable confusion; the kind that envelopes you,
making you sit back and relax as you become surrounded by marvellous
words, actions and meanings, and you just go with the flow, knowing it will all be
clear at some point.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">For now, however, just so we are all up to
speed, may I direct you to this </span><a href="http://www.omniglot.com/language/phrases/hebrew.php">website</a> which has given me a head start in the Hebrew
basics.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Among the key phrases listed, ‘I
don’t understand’, ‘Please say it again’ and ‘ My hovercraft is full of eels’
are sure to provide me with the essentials for my exciting night at the
theatre.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US" style="color: #262626; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial;">L'chaim!</span><span lang="EN-US"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">Shalom.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<!--EndFragment-->Nicky Bondhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12947859310367012273noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-982979875977386712.post-73951202771335201482012-05-01T14:47:00.001-07:002012-05-01T14:48:04.685-07:00<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
The Scottish Play (Part 2!)</div>
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<span lang="EN-US">While I am on a blogging roll and it is all
new and exciting, I thought I’d post something new ASAP. However, this isn’t strictly speaking New With
Tags or even NWOT (I’ve been spending a lot of time on eBay recently). Instead this is a review I wrote last Summer
after seeing David Greig’s play, Dunsinane, in Stratford upon Avon. It was as fabby a piece of theatre as I saw
all year, and as such prompted me to organise my wildly excited thoughts on
paper the following day. Sadly for you
lot, due to it being so new, and having a couple of runs that are now closed, it
will mean very little to anyone who is likely to read this. I only know two people who saw the play – one
(my little bruv) has already read this and two (my fella) has chosen not to,
for fear of unknown big words. So,
despite the fact that this won’t mean much, I offer my Second Post. Ta-da!
(Please take a moment to hear the blaring mental fanfare that
accompanies this.) <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US">P.S If this bores you rigid, never
fear! I have no more year-old pesky theatre
reviews up my sleeve. It’s still all a
bit of a test.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Courier;"><o:p>Dunsinane - </o:p></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Courier;">26.6.11</span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Courier;">Five weeks ago
I watched a production of Macbeth (a play I know very little about) at the
Liverpool Everyman. An accomplished and
solid cast led by David Morrissey took me on a journey through the aggression
and the madness that lies at the heart of this Scottish tale. It was an excellent performance from all
concerned. Being Macbeth however, it was
also what can only be described as ‘a bit bleak’. As someone who knows a bit about Shakespeare,
I quickly recognised that this play was not going to leave me with the same
feel-good factor that Much Ado might manage as I left the theatre. It was also something I would not need to
watch again for quite some time. I had
risen to the challenge of watching it, been moved by it, and I certainly felt
proud that I had participated in the final play being performed at the Everyman
before its refurbishment. But if I was
to be truly honest with myself, Macbeth as it goes, is not a play I
particularly enjoy.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Courier;">Fast forward a
couple of weeks and I am met with a question from my actor brother. ‘Do you want to see the sequel to Macbeth
next week?’<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Courier;">Hmmm…how to
respond… ‘No?’ springs to mind.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Courier;">It transpired
that a friend of said brother was in the cast of Dunsinane, the 2010 play set
in 11<sup>th</sup> century Scotland, telling the tale of ‘what happens next’ as
Macbeth is removed from power. The
brother made a compelling argument flattering my snobbish and cultured ego.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Courier;">‘You’ll like
it. It’s like Macbeth.’<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Courier;">Hmmm. Perhaps it has not paid to be so guarded
about my feelings regarding Shakespeare’s less humourous, less loved-up and
less fuzzy stories. Because let’s not
mince words, Macbeth is not humorous, loved up or fuzzy.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Courier;">So, partly in
order to maintain my ‘English Lit. Superstar’ credentials, and partly
because I always like a good road trip, I agreed to drive to Stratford, with
the brother to watch the penultimate Saturday performance of David Grieg’s
‘Dunsinane’ at the newly-polished Swan Theatre.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Courier;">Arriving in
town at 4pm, we had a lovely afternoon in the sun. A gentle stroll from the car park to Chapel
Street, a late lunch in Café Rouge with a dashing bar guy and a browse in the
impressive RST gift shop were all highly satisfying activities, so as we waited
for the theatre to open at 7pm, I felt content that despite the gruelling
evening to follow, I had enjoyed the events leading up to it, if nothing else.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Courier;">Once inside and
seated, I opened my programme (cunningly doubling up as a copy of the text) and
read the opening scenes to myself. This
is when the first realisation struck me.
<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Courier;">This is not in Shakespearian language! <o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
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<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Courier;">Whilst this did
not provide as an excessive relief as it might for some people, it did make me
wonder if this might be a different kind of evening to the one I had been
envisaging.<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"> </i>Minutes later a second thought occurred
to me as I scanned the opening lines. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Courier;">Was that … a joke?<o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
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<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Courier;">A brief comment
on the wildness of Fife compared to the civility of Kent stood out as being
slightly flippant and amusing, or at least it did to my mind, but I had no time
to ponder this as the lights dimmed and the play began.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Courier;">To say my
expectations were wildly inaccurate is like describing Hamlet as ‘a bit moody’. From the opening scene, the audience guffawed
- proper belly laughing, not just your usual ‘Shakespeare humour’ titters from
the bearded elderly. The comedy was rife
in most scenes involving the raggle-taggle band of English youths excellently
mirroring a British stag do in Palma, or a bunch of football fans on the piss
after some European championship match.
The Scottish King Malcolm (Brian Ferguson) had some of the best lines – or rather
interpreted best some of the lines, with timing to rival fellow Scot, Billy
Connelly. And there was more than a hint
of the Basil Fawltys as Egham’s sword lashed about wildly, screaming ’Which one
of you is the fucking King?’ It could so
easily have been a tree branch and a 1970s’ car.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Courier;">Yet juxtaposed with this beautifully timed comedy, were moments of
intense drama. The beguiling Gruach (Siobhan Redmond) didn’t get many of the funny bits (one could make the criticism that the play
suggests the only role of women is to be that of the mad angry bitch or the
scheming temptress) but she was the lynch pin in the relationships of all
characters that surrounded her. Malcolm
feared her actual power, the young soldiers were terrified of her suspected
powers and Siward (Jonny Phillips) respected her place in the court enough to be blinded to the
truth. One of the more satisfying
aspects of this drama is that at only momentary periods, do you remember that
this is Lady Macbeth. All the evils and
hardships of the country can be attributed to her lust for power, and yet to
the credit of the script and the players, most of the time this is
forgotten. Grieg’s Gruach invokes more
pity than Shakespeare’s Lady Macbeth can ever do, yet it is worth remembering
that this is supposed to be the same character.
She is a multiple murderess long before we meet her here.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Courier;">As is oft the
case when watching a really <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">good </i>play
(or perhaps just because there was a coachload of students in the auditorium) I
found myself imagining the kinds of set-text questions that A-Level exam boards
would have conceived. There was the key
motif of ‘doing the right thing’-
everyone thinking that their actions are the ‘right thing to do’ and yet
bloodshed and destruction being all there is to show for it. Another key theme was that of language - from
its power to its idiosyncrasies. Grieg allows time amidst the action, to
explore the relevance of words – from Malcolm explaining how in Scotland ‘we
tend to hear that word ‘seems’, to Gruach with dark sexuality, comparing
English to being ‘a woodcutter’s language’ and wholly descriptive. ‘Our language’ she concludes ‘<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">is</i> the forest.’ Greig’s soldiers are excellent in their
employment of so called low language, and after the sensual conclusion of the
linguistic seduction between Gruach and Siward, we are brought right back to
earthy reality, with the bragging declaration of a young soldier.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Courier;">“I’m going to
hit that woman right in the tit.’<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Courier;">There is also
the uneasy and unsettling notion of what the linguistic humour masks. Whilst the boy-soldiers make jokes about
getting laid and ‘touching the hen girl’s tit’ to laughs a-plenty, the grim
truth is that they are casually discussing the rape and molestation of the
people whose country they have invaded. It was much later when the Iraq and
Afghanistan parallels dawned on me, but much of the underlying commentary is
based on invasion, overthrowing power, seeming power that is false in reality
and the struggle to marry (literally at one point) wildly differing ideals in
order for a nation to exist cohesively.
It is no surprise that the healing never takes place and the final
implication is that it never will.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Courier;">Twenty-four
hours later, and I still feel like there is so much more to this play than I
have discovered yet. A Google search for
accompanying notes has proved fruitless (it has only been published for a year
I suppose) but this means my hunger for commentary is not satiated. It was theatre at its best, playwriting at
its most creative and social commentary at its most honest. Can it be wanting of anything else? Just a
couple more funnies for Gruach perhaps?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Courier;"><o:p> </o:p></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Courier;"> </span></div>Nicky Bondhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12947859310367012273noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-982979875977386712.post-36762169015792524842012-04-30T14:01:00.001-07:002012-04-30T14:01:50.676-07:00Get me, I've only gone and blogged!<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<span lang="EN-US"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Lordy, it appears I have started a
blog. I’m sorry about that, but there
you go. I never thought I would, but now I have, and that is all. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span lang="EN-US"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Several people have informed me that this
is a must-do step in the process of promoting myself, and my writing; although
having a blog to promote a book that is nowhere near complete seems a little
premature, but there you are.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>At the
moment, I have about two thirds of a novel and thirty-minutes of a television
script, and here I am trying to drum up a ‘readership’.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Do you feel like reading? Yay!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Keep going then.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Initially, I was going to wait until
Eurovision to launch this (May 26<sup>th</sup> 2012, as if you didn’t know…tsk tsk)
but then several things made me think that wasn’t a good idea.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Firstly, as Eurovision is quite clearly, one
of the best nights of the year (Christmas Eve is pretty good too) I know I will
be too busy dangling the bunting, forcing party hats on unwilling siblings' heads and
creating what can only be described as kitchen magic resulting in an
Azerbaijan-inspired buffet, so making time to sit down and write something
profound will be difficult.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Secondly,
after just reading Nigella Lawson’s latest blog (she calls them <a href="http://www.nigella.com/kitchen-witter">kitchen witter</a>) I have now
come to the conclusion that I don’t <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">need</i>
to be profound, nor build up to some massive launch with a spectacularly well-thought out and inspirational post.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I absolutely LOVE Nigella’s writing in its
many and varied forms, but her witters are short, to the point and sometimes
discuss as basic a topic as the meal she ate the previous evening.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Whilst I will leave the foodie posts to her,
it is reassuring to know I don’t need to upload an academic essay every time a
post is required.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>In short, I should stop thinking ‘I really
must start that blog’, and instead, just start the damn blog.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">So, to conclude this inaugural post, I will
bring you up to speed about the Nov (Novel, in case that’s not obvious -
capital letter because it is my baby) as I like to call it. I’ve been writing it in short bursts, each
week for the last nine months. Whether it
is any good, I have no idea, but it is loads of fun to do, and it is giving me
an outlet for all the creative juices that were rather suppressed before. In terms of style, I am hoping that I’m channelling
lots of <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Armistead_Maupin">Armistead Maupin</a>,
a small amount of <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lisa_Jewell">Lisa Jewell</a>
and sometimes even a bit of <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rosamunde_Pilcher">Rosamunde Pilcher</a>. These are just a few of the authors towards
whose style I find myself regularly drawn.
It is also apparent to me that the basic plot of the Nov owes a rather
large debt to the type of character-driven films I love. The ones where a bunch of people in differing situations meet up at some sort of event, realise some things about themselves
and then move on - their lives changed in a meaningful way for evermore. Think ‘The Breakfast Club’, ‘Peter’s
Friends’, or even something periody like ‘Gosford Park’. Well that’s what I am trying to write. At the moment it is absolutely nothing like
any of the authors or film plots that I have referenced, but at least if I know
what I am aiming for, I have more of a chance of actually achieving that at
some point in the future. </span></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">So in the spirit of Nigella’s
Witters, I’m going to keep it short and sweet…for now. Just wait til Eurovision night – I may post
that essay after all.</span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<!--EndFragment-->Nicky Bondhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12947859310367012273noreply@blogger.com3